SAFFORD, AZ. - A fugitive’s abduction by aliens has prompted a hasty interstellar extradition treaty, now under review by the U.S. Senate.

Unidentified flying… Orcas?… or humpbacks?

“They must have been strong aliens because that Bigfoot must have weighed at least 500 pounds,” said Jeffrey Antis.

Orthodontist Gerald Fixit was sleeping soundly when he was abruptly awakened by a rumbling. “My house started to shake,” said Fixit. “There were intense, bright lights shining into my window, blinding me.