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ROE-NIN The Fish Eggs Strike Back!

By Jim Grand

KAMATCHSKAYA, Russia — In this tiny village on the Sea of Okhotsk, veteran fisherman were surprised when they went to harvest the sturgeon eggs used to make famed Kamatchskaya caviar.

“My nets were torn to shreds,” said Piotr ‘No Relation’ Stalin, who has been plying these waters for forty years. “So were the nets of every other fisherman. Much to our surprise, the slashes were very clean, as if they had been made with a razor blade.”

While the nets were repaired, Piotr’s son, Josef, put on diving gear and went to investigate. What he discovered in the murky waters was that the sturgeon had covered their nests with sea-thorns.

“They were waving in the currents like little swords,” Josef told Weekly World News . “I used an empty clam shell to fight them off and disarm them.”

“Once again we can fish here,” Piotr said proudly. “Once again, we are happy to roe, roe, roe our boats!”