By CHUCK LEE
After opening a popular Chinese restaurant in Manhattan, Chuck Lee discovered that eating large amounts of hot mustard enabled him to foretell the future. Chuck has consented to share his remarkable predictions in a weekly column.2008 ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Botanists realize that trees growing in polluted areas of the country are becoming ill and turning a sickly purple. The scientists appeal to the government to cut back on the use of fossil fuels to save what have come to be known as ‘nevergreen’ trees.
2009 LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Statisticians are surprised when their research indicates that a mere five degrees of separation — not six — exists among the human population.
2009 LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Kevin Bacon is happy to be ‘just’ an actor again.
2010 CLEVELAND, Ohio — Toy stores sell bubbles that make inarticulate sounds when they pop. Parents are less-than-thrilled when their kids beg them to purchase these annoying ‘babbles.’
2011 WASHINGTON, D.C. — Animal rights activists convince Congress to include pets in the electoral process. Although pet owners don't have much luck coaxing their pets — other than parrots — to vote, activists still feel it's an important symbolic victory.
2012 WASHINGTON, D.C. — The first bird is elected to Congress.
2013 CHICAGO, Ill. — Sleep specialists devise a technique that allows people to bathe and nap at the same time. By focusing only on the drumming sound and feel of the water, people are able to put themselves in a meditative state called ‘showernapping.’
2014 MIAMI, Fla. — Biologists discover that the mechanisms of aging slow considerably when people are in motion. They estimate that if a person were to exercise all day, she or he could live to be two hundred. People obsessively strive to be on the move during every waking hour, bicycling to work and pacing their offices.
2015 MIAMI, Fla. — People are so exhausted from staying in motion all day that they sleep a minimum of ten hours. This extra period of inactivity counteracts their attempts to stay younger.
2016 SAN DIEGO, Calif. — To compete with the upscale foods made from animal products — such as filet mignon — vegetarians grow an expensive, new vegetable that is both healthy, and delicious. Soon, every five-star restaurant is serving these ‘fine artichokes.’
2017 BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — While examining sites where young campers often play loud music, geologists find remarkable stones possessing spiky, moss-covered protrusions. They theorize that the headbanger music is responsible for creating these punk rocks.
2018 SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — To reduce deforestation, police use the tons of confiscated marijuana to create materials that ordinarily would be made from trees. The first item they manufacture is for school projects. It’s called ‘toketag.’
2019 LANGLEY, Va. — The United States military creates a virtual-reality testing device that ascertains a soldier's true ability to handle fear and adversity. The military turns away a number of recruits after using these so-called mettle detectors.
2021 PROVIDENCE, R.I. — People who spend too much time writing online diary entries evolve into a new humanoid species with larger thumbs, keener eyes and sturdier backsides. Anthropologists call these humanoid creatures ‘bloglodytes.’
2022 PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Anthropologists study another fascinating mutation in which people develop a fork-like protrusion in the back of their throats that spears food and brings it to their mouths. The excessive eating of fast food such as French fries and snacks like pretzels is blamed for the development of these ‘utonsils.’
2023 BOSTON, Mass. — Scientists again witness evolution firsthand, as food tossed from boats inspires more and more fish to breed in, and inhabit, the busy docks. These creatures are the first example ever seen of a ‘harboreal’ species.
2024 MONTREAL, Canada — A new biome is discovered that alters its appearance each season. It begins as a forest, then changes into a grassland, then a tundra and finally, a desert. Scientists are at a loss to explain the behavior of this indeciduous forest.