by Sammy the Chatting Chimp
"After leaving the circus to make a better life for himself, Sammy the Chatting Chimp started his own exotic pet business and made a fortune. Now he wants to share the many facts and secrets he's learned, not only about business, but life in general."
Dear Mr. Chimp: This may seem a little politically incorrect, but there are a lot of homeless people in this city. I’m wondering if there are any statistics about how much money panhandlers actually make?
--David Roberts, San Diego, Calif.
Dear David: One recent study indicated that panhandlers earn anywhere from a few dollars a day on the low end to twenty — the average — to roughly three hundred dollars a day. The most successful are those who are (or who pose as) war veterans. Panhandlers who own pets also elicit more pity. Women tend to receive the most charity, especially if they have children. (In some countries where I’ve traveled, parents actually have the limbs of their children broken so they will appear more pathetic!) The least effective methods are those in which the homeless approach motorists who are stopped at a light. Time is short and windows are often closed. Regardless, I've always marveled at peoples' generosity toward those less fortunate. This was quite a revelation to me. In the wild, weakened animals aren't fed — they’re eaten.
Dear Mr. Chimp: I'm from England and just got my green card to live in the United States. I'm wondering, why are they called 'green cards?'
--Catherine Smith, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Dear Catherine: The earlier form of the green card was simply the I-151, or Alien Registration Receipt Card, which was first used in 1940 as part of the Alien Registration Act. All foreign citizens had to register with the government and could do so at the post office. These certificates were printed on white paper. When World War II ended, a large number of immigrants arrived in the United States and were split into different categories such as workers, students, teachers, etc, each getting a permit showing their status. Anyone who received permanent residence in the United States got a green receipt, which became known as a ‘green card.’ This was replaced by the I-551 in 1977, which was made from paper of all colors except green. However, the forms were still referred to as green cards. The closest thing I had to a green card in the jungle were leaves, which were more important than work permits. As food and shelter, they were life permits!