Hi Dolly: Every time my twelve-year-old son has to see the doctor for a check-up he starts to cry and I have to go into the examining room with him to calm him down. Everyone in the doctor's waiting room stares at us and laughs at a kid of his age crying because he has to see a doctor. When the doctor is examining him he has to play a game, pretending the tongue depressor or thermometer is an airplane, making it fly around in the air and buzzing before he puts it into his mouth (which he often closes before it gets there), and the nurse has to show him a little hand clown puppet to make him stop crying and cooperate. My husband and I are both thoroughly ashamed and all the kids in school are making fun of him, calling him a fraidy cat and a yellow belly. What can we do?
— Embarrassed Mom in East Orange
Dear Embarrassed Mom: One thing you could do is change doctors. Your doc should have recognized that your son needs mental health counselin'. Have you ever been so scared that you started sweatin' and your heart started poundin'? Well, that's what it feels like to have an anxiety attack. When they happen over and over without no apparent or sufficient cause, they're called 'phobias.' Some folks have a fear of heights, or of gettin' on an airplane, or of dogs or public speakin'. There are lots of phobias — maybe caused by some early incident or by genetics or by who-knows-what. Don't make fun of your son or feel embarrassed, hon. He's not actin' this way on purpose. He needs help.
Hi, Dolly: I am a twenty-one-year-old man who has yet to lose his virginity. My question is why is there such a stigma against virgins over the age of sixteen to eighteen? I understand that for a long time a person was expected to be married by this age but that was because back then you would die by thirty or thereabouts. That's not true today, with life expectancies into the seventies. Why is there still such a rush to have sex?
— Jimmy in Indiana
Dear Jimmy: I reckon it's hormones, sugar. For many younguns, it's hard to put on the brakes. I remember bein' like that myself once upon a time. As long as a person is of-the-age and takes precautions, I don’t judge what they do. But by the same token, no one should do what they ain't comfortable with. You don't have to tell no one you're still a virgin. That ain't none of their business.
Hi, Dolly: No one in my family knows what to do about my Aunt Sandie. Right now she's dating a self-centered jerk who everybody is telling her to get away from. But no matter who says it or how many times she's told, she acts like she didn't even hear — plus she'll defend him no matter what. All he does is walk all over her like a welcome mat. What should my family do to get her to listen?
— Ambrosia in Nevada
Dear Ambrosia: I reckon your Aunt Sandie is in love, and there's no reasonin' with that. You can't save folks from their own mistakes. They'll do whatsoever they want, with or without your say-so, and either learn from them or not. Besides, you might be wrong about this 'jerk.' There might be somethin' about him that Sandie sees that you don't. So step aside. If you're right, be ready to pick up the pieces. If you're wrong, be glad for your Aunt Sandie's happiness.