Hi, Dolly: My son is divorced and has custody of his two boys during the summer. Today he asked if I could take care of them for three weeks in July. That would mean taking time off from work (I clean houses and get paid by the hour.) Dolly, most of the time, my son never calls me and he maybe comes to see me twice a year even though he lives thirty minutes away. What would you do if you were me? — Erica in Passaic
Dear Erica: Since your son needs you now, sugar, this would be a good time to set him down and have a talk. Tell him you'll help him this time, but you ain't gonna do it again unless he shows more respect and carin' for you, which means helpin' you out when you need it and makin' time to see you. As for the money, ask him to pay some of them bills. It'll still be a sight cheaper for him to have you mindin' the grandkids than to hire someone else, who probably wouldn't do half as good a job.
Hi, Dolly: I got married right after high school. I'm the oldest girl in my generation, so my mother and aunts planned a big wedding for me. I couldn't back out, but even when I was walking down the aisle, I thought I was making a mistake. My husband is successful and we have a nice house and everything, but he's very controlling. I've been unhappy for years. Every time I’ve tried to talk to him, he gets angry and dismisses me like I was a servant. A week ago, I left with just the clothes on my back. I'm staying now with a friend who says I can stay as long as I need to, but I don't know what to do. My parents don't believe in divorce and won't talk to me. Should I go back to my husband if he'll take me back?
— Chris in Bloomington
Dear Chris: Your parents done a good job of messin' things up for you, haven't they, hon? Well, don't let them do it no more. You're lucky you have a friend to shelter you. Use this chance to look for a job and start over. If you go back to your hubby now, things won't be no different than they ever were. You deserve happiness. Set your mind toward findin' it.
Hi, Dolly: My sixty-nine-year-old mother just went through a major operation and didn't tell me or my sister until after it was over. I don't know what she was thinking, but we're mad at her for keeping her illness from us. What if she'd died on the operating table? Can you imagine how shocked we would have been to get that phone call? How can people be that selfish?
— Steve in Wilmington
Dear Steve: Maybe your mama didn't want to worry you, but I reckon what you're really feelin' is that she didn't trust you and your sister enough to lay her troubles on you. No one should go through life tryin' to tough it out alone. We should be there for the ones we love, and ask them to be there for us. Both givin' and receivin' are ways of showin' love. I'm sorry that you and your mama ain't closer. Visit her, watch for signs that something could be wrong. And keep reminding her that next time — if there is one — you want to help her and hope that she takes you up on that. But don't be surprised if she don't. At her age, folks ain't likely to change.