Hi, Dolly: I'm thirteen years old and I just started dating this guy who my older sister used as a fallback when her boyfriend dumped her two weeks ago. My mom is cool with it but my dad hates him ever since he dated my older sister. This boy’s mom says we should wait till we are older to date, but I really like him. My home and school life are hell. I come home crying a lot and he makes me laugh and smile again. My few friends at school say he is too old for me and we shouldn't date. What should I do, Dolly? Should I break off the relationship and wait, hoping he is still single and likes me when I'm older or should I just date him anyway? — Jennifer in Kentucky Dear Jennifer: I got two big words of advice: slow down! It don’t sound as though everyone hates your fella, punkin — most of ’em are just sayin’ he’s too old for you and you should wait to date each other. A five-year age difference don’t matter none when you’re in your twenties or older, but you’re gonna go through a lot of growin’ in the next few years. If your fella could go so fast from your older sister to you, he don’t sound none too steady. And I wouldn’t be amazed if, by the time you get this answer from me, the situation has already changed. What worries me most about your letter is what you say about your home and school life bein’ hell. Sweetie, that’s where you need help. Is there any adult you can turn to for advice? If no one comes to mind right away, make it your job to find someone who can help you deal with or fix the things that make you cry.
Hi, Dolly: After twenty years of marriage and three children, I left my husband two years ago because I learned that he was having an affair with another woman and actually had a child with her. But my mother still keeps in touch with him and has photos of me and him hanging on the wall. This upsets me every time I visit her. How could she be so insensitive? I feel that she doesn’t really care about me at all or she’d take those pictures down and stop talking to that lying, deceitful dog. Do you think I’m wrong? — Evelyn in Carlyle
Dear Evelyn: Your feelin’s ain’t wrong, sugar. They’re yours, and you have good reason for them. But everyone’s relationship with others is different, and your mama has as much right to like ‘the dog’ (and the father of her grandbabies) — or at least keep the peace with him — as you have a right to dislike him. What she don’t have no right to do, though, is make you miserable over it. Bring her some new pictures to put on the wall, and if she don’t hang ’em up, stop visitin’ her till she does. You have a right to do that, too.
Hi, Dolly: A year ago, I married for the second time and my wife and I each brought two children to the marriage — all between the ages of nine and fourteen. The kids fight constantly — usually hers against mine. My kids are often rude to my wife and her brats hardly talk to me. My wife and I love each other but this is getting to us and we don’t know what to do about it. Any suggestions? — David in Hastings
Dear David: A family therapist might help the kids express their feelin's so they don't have to let ’em out by fightin'. In addition, I’d set all those kids down in one room and tell ’em calm and clear that they don’t have to like their new family members, but they do have to be civil. Then give ’em an ‘or else.’ Maybe that would be that if they continue to misbehave, they can go live with their other parent — or if that ain’t possible, take away privileges every time they get out of hand.