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MAN LEAVES FORTUNE TO TORTOISE!

By Terrance Orrance

PALM SPRINGS, Calif. — Before Leonard Wilkenson died nine years ago at the age of eighty-four, he set up a half-million-dollar trust fund to care for his pets: two dogs, two cats and a tortoise named Harry. His will stated that the money should be used for the animals until all of them had died, at which time whatever remained was to be divided among his three nieces and nephews and their children.

“Mr. Wilkenson was childless and considered these animals to be family,” explained his executor, Vernon B. Gorham, Esq. “He wanted them well taken care of.”

Since Mr. Wilkenson died, the dogs and cats have all passed away — but Harry the Tortoise lives on. And the nieces and nephews are getting impatient.

“Desert tortoises like Harry commonly live a hundred years, if not longer,” whined niece, Terry Pinn. “I’ll be dead by then!”

The Wilkenson nieces and nephews have brought a civil suit in Riverside County demanding that the courts disinherit the tortoise and remove Gorham as executor. They haven’t seen Harry in a while and wonder where Gorham’s keeping him.

“If and when a tortoise shows up, we want proof that he is Harry and not some other tortoise,” said Pinn. “You know, Mr. Gorham collects a handsome fee for managing the estate. Next, we want answers about my uncle’s questionable state of mind at the time of his death. I’d like to see what the reptile has to say. I mean Harry, not the attorney.

“Hell,” Pinn added, “I’m curious to see how they’re going to get that six-foot, quarter-ton monstrosity through security. I mean Gorham, not Harry.” Judge Andrea Bennett is slated to hear the case. “I've heard many tort cases,” the judge remarked, “but this is my first tortoise case.”